Ever have a friend whose comment, while it might seem totally harmless, ends up hurting your feelings? And even though what she said may not seem like a big deal, it leaves you wondering why you’re feeling so upset over it. If this sounds a little too familiar, you might have a frenemy on your hands. To help you out, we’ve pulled together some of the worst put-downs and what you can do to defuse the uncomfortable situation, stat.

1. “You think that’s bad? Listen to what happened to me.”

If your friend would rather talk about her problems when you’re coming to her with an issue, she’s probably not a true friend. Next time there’s a crisis happening in your life, you might want to turn to someone else.

2. “How could you let that happen?”

While you might be looking for a chance to vent to your bestie, a comment like this makes you feel like it’s all your fault. And though you might be to blame, pointing out fault is totally not helpful. If you’re trying to talk about something serious and this is the response you get, it’s time to kick you friend to the curb. There’s no use having a friend who doesn’t support you.

3. “You’re my only [black/gay/etc] friend!”

It might seem like a simple observation, but in the end this kind of comment just comes off as “I only value the fact that you’re [black/gay/etc].” Not cool. Tell her how it makes you feel and why what she’s saying isn’t appropriate.

4. “Wow, I could never eat that”

If you’re not digging in on a pile of literal trash for lunch, saying something like this is just plain rude. Call her out on what she’s said. Everyone has different tastes but that doesn’t mean she has to be disrespectful.

5. “People only like you because you’re [blank].”

A comment like this might mean she’s jealous of you and doesn’t want to admit that you’re succeeding because you’re good at what you do. While confronting her about it might resolve the conflict, it could be time to call this friendship quits.


Writer, PR practitioner, lover of life :)