Kenyans are a just a unique kind of humans. Do you know why? They will do something morally wrong and proudly discuss it with a total stranger. Yep, you read that right.
Just recently, a new wave of Instagram stories showcasing the best of Nairobi’s cheaters’ chronicles was debuted by user @sammroi. This inspired the likes of Xtian Dela to ask their followers about their most random moments with “quickies” or cheating on their spouses.
They took advantage of the anonymity and laid out everything stark naked. One lady talked about how she once slept with her high school principal. When a teacher discovered it, she silenced him by sleeping with him too. A dude confessed how he ended up sleeping with his best friend’s girlfriend when she came to his place to ‘ask for advice’ when her relationship with her man was on the rocks.
This has been going on for over three weeks, with hundreds of stories being posted every few days.
Here are some of the biggest lessons I’ve gathered from these confessions:
1. Nobody is safe
Do not console yourself by saying, “I’ve never seen any signs of my girlfriend or boyfriend cheating; I am safe.” Like G-Eazy says in “No Limit”, it’s not safe. Personally, I’ve gotten complaints from my friends who have discovered their long term partners – even those of up to 6 years – have been cheating on them. As far as I am concerned, no amount of money or loyalty can prevent you from being cheated on. Once you realize this, you will be on the safer side; far from perpetual heartbreaks.
2. Cheating is done for thrill
If they can do it on the balcony, in a van or inside an office, that is not love making. It is essentially f*cking. It only makes sense that this is done for pure enjoyment; not for mutual connection. If you don’t agree with me, feel free to tweet me @harunmomanyi and I can explain further until you get it right.
3. Never let your man or woman have a BFF
When a lady tells me that she has a guy BFF, I usually guffaw and let it slide for I know one thing…in most cases, it is never genuine. No one…I repeat no one can befriend a very attractive member of the opposite sex and the most they do is just chill. You’ll be lying to yourself. Personally, I once had a hot BFF and establishing a boundary was not easy. This being said, never buy that from your man or woman.
4. Cheaters will never care about their health
Most of the stories that @sammroi posted showed that cheaters blatantly avoid using condoms and their justification is, sex is sweeter without protection. However, they have forgotten that HIV/AIDS hapana tambua light skin or big asses. It does not matter how beautiful you are, if you become reckless, you’ll end up being infected and totally disorienting your life.
5. Marriage is not a barrier to cheating
In one of the IG stories, a lady confessed that a local radio presenter had been in her DMs for so long. When she decided to meet him, the wife was not at home. They had sex in his matrimonial bed. This is not something new; if exchange vows and walk down the aisle, that does not mean that you are ‘cheat proof.’ Humans will always be humans and when emotions are involved, one thing often leads to another.
6. Being in a relationship has never been harder
It has never been easy, but it has just gotten harder being in a relationship in Nairobi. Many reactions to the cheating confessions showed that most Nairobians are not keen in getting into commitments. They are now super skeptic, fearing the possibility of being cheated on. Considering the fact that having sex with random people for thrill is rampant, nobody believes in true love anymore.
Coupled with the fact that money precedes love, relationships working out are a total fallacy. If you manage to stay in one, it is either because the sex is too good or a lot of money is involved.
7. Even men are being “chips fungwad”
There is a lady who opened up about her cheating escapades. She said that she has a comprehensive list of men she is targeting. The men have been sleeping with her, thinking that they have “scored”, kumbe they were being trapped by her advances. She was proud of her achievements by the way — sleeping with over 15 men is no joke, at least to her.
So the next time a lady is quick to tall for your advances, think twice bro!