So I identify myself as the descendant of the great king and queen of savages also known as Mr. emotionally unavailable. Here’s why.. I think I tend to find myself creating solutions for the love birds especially matters to do with finance.
They said there is no romance without finance, they lied I have proof that you can actually find and keep the love of your life with less than 200 bob in Kenya, let me rephrase that; You can actually please a Kenyan lady with two hundred bob or less. True story.
Before you even start clicking and cursing remember the couple that won our hearts after spending just one hundred bob in their wedding a while back? Well, what makes you think only millions will guarantee you a happy and stable relationship in Kenya?
Below are a few tips on how to not only please but scoop a Kenyan lady with less than two hundred shillings.
1. Fare
Speaking from experience, I have used this as the easiest way to break the ice with a good looking lady in a matatu.
Good thing she was seated on the seat next to the window and I was obviously the first person the conductor would pay attention to, and so I flashed out a Sh100bob note and flicked two fingers to indicate that I had sponsored my future plus one even without her consent. Trust me it works.
2. Ice Cream
Once you’ve scored the lady in a matatu obviously the last thing you do before alighting at your destination is exchange numbers which escalates to regular texting and late night calls that is if your ‘Swahili’ is on point.
What’s the next thing to do once the two of you start missing each other? You offer her an ice cream date, and since you want to use that iconic 200sh note to impress her, you hit the stores and grab her favorite flavor. Problem solved.
3. Central park
Have you ever stopped and thought that the same ladies who say no romance without finance are the ones who say that it’s the little things that matters when it comes to relationships?
Ok having that in mind, why not ‘kidnap’ her one Saturday afternoon and offer to take her out for a romantic walk through Nairobi streets to Central park for some quality time. Did she ask for simple things, then order a big soda and mkate nusu for her and she’ll be tweeting and sharing those selfies with her million followers.
4. Kibandaski
On social media, only the brave and adventourous appear as the new cool by posting photos of themselves enjoying extraordinary things which mind you cost just a few pennies. Forget the high end meal outlets which you’ll have to make sure you place a few bets before hitting them, how about a kibanda also known as kibandaski?
Surely, what’s the most expensive meal in a kibandaski? With Sh200 the two of you have a plateful of nyama rice or ugali with a sprinkle of your favorite greens and to make sure it’s a date worth remembering, you hit her with a bottle of soda.
5. WCW
So with all of the above actually involving cash here’s one way actually almost the only way to win her heart without spending a coin.
Ladies love attention and what if you chose to use that free office WIFI to post her on your whatsapp profile picture, Instagram and Facebook every Wednesday as your WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday)? She’ll be head over heels in love with you, because out of 4 billion girls she made it into your social media pages.
6. Wrist watch
Fancy wrist watches in Nairobi go for as little as Sh200. See how God works in miraculous ways? Buy one that has her favorite colors and tell her that should remind her the number of seconds you actually think of her.
Plus she can use that to improve on her time keeping skills when the two of you are supposed to meet up.
7. KICC Rooftop romance
Incase you didn’t know the most if not one of the most romantic places to take a lady on a cheap date, then you have not tried Kenyatta International Convention Center roof top.
Being one of the tallest skyscrapers in the country, it offers the perfect overview of our beautiful city for as little as Sh150.
For just that she will be singing the ‘on top of the world with bae’ song and actually the other Sh50 you can use it to order a nduthi ride for her after she is done taking a million selfies.
Oh God I never knew I can be this romantic.
