Social media influencer and political aspirant Arthur Mandela Nyongesa popularly known as Xtian Dela, just revealed that the main reason why he left his family was due to his mom's toxicity.
Xtian did this while responding to his mother’s claims that he had neglected her and his siblings and had cut ties with the family for 4 years.
Taking to his Instagram story, the father one claims that his mom knows very well why he left and her online plea is just antics for attention.
Xtian penned a blog targeting toxic parents as a response to his mother Bishop Naomi Nyongesa, who also happens to be an actress.
“As children, we rely on our parents for love, support and guidance. However, some parents can be emotionally damaging, leading to long-term psychological effects on their children. These parents are often referred to as ‘toxic’ parents,” the YouTube content creator explained in the blog.
He followed up the post by giving children 7 key points he maintains are signs of a toxic parent that kids pick up on and in turn shapes their growth and not only relationship with parent but with other people as well.
According to him, the first sign is less appreciation and constant criticism, on every single thing a child attempts to do. Second on the list is manipulation.
“They may use guilt or fear to control their child’s behaviour. They may also use bribery or other rewards to get their children to do what they want. This manipulation lead to the child feeling like they have no control over their own life,” the social media influencer explained.
Xtian also pointed out that toxic parents do not know their boundaries another form of toxicity.
“Such parents invade their children’s privacy, such as going through their children’s belongings without permission. This lack of boundaries makes children feel like they do not have a sense of privacy,” Xtian quipped.
Some of his other points included neglect of both the kids physical or emotional needs which he maintains leads a child into feeling undervalued. Blame shifting which leads to kids feeling like they are always at fault or responsible for their parents’ feelings which is such a heavy burden to place on a kid.
Followed by gas lighting where parents minimize or deny their child’s feelings or experiences which in turn can lead to the child doubting their own reality.
And lastly he pointed out that a parent being too involved in their kids life was also a form of red flag especially when this pours over to an extent that there is no separation even when one becomes an adult.
Xtian finished up by asking his followers to ensure that they learn about these key points at an early age so that they can start the process of healing emotionally.
A day ago, Dela’s mother in a video that has seen then gown viral cried over how her son has been "missing" for 4 years.
She went on to plead with the content creator to please come back home as she emphasized that they had no issue and he didn't know why Xtian disappeared on them.
The actress hinted that she feels like Xtian's wife Fatma Banj might have something with her child acting all weird as she has always taken care of him after his father passed on.
“Arthur Mandela Nyongesa was born in 1990. Beginning 2019, he began disappearing for periods of time. When I told him to come home and visit us, he didn’t come often and would say ‘mum I’m very busy’ and I said its okay,” the actress started out.
She then went on to add:
Since then he cut me off .... He has blocked me. Wherever he is, let him know his mum wants to see him. Staying for four years without seeing your child is not easy.
I saw it fit to go and appeal where Arthur can easily be found. Let him know that his mother wants him back,” cried the mother of 5.
Before revealing that even relatives in their extended family had raised concerns, about his whereabouts after the boy missed several funerals.