One of Kenya’s funniest Instagramers, Karis Memes, has started a very funny conversation.

He asked, “Name a petty reason you won’t date somebody…”

One Instagramer, Choxx_tha_don gave some 12 conditions that will crack your ribs.

  1. When she texts sh!t like ‘Xaxa xema xwirrie…’ just go kill yourself sis.
  2. When she’s soo fine but says she doesn’t give blowj*bs and doesn’t like orals at all including her pussy ate.
  3. When she says “I don’t do fries”. Fries is for everybody gtfoh.
  4. When she’s perfectly fluent in person but on text ana shrub everything…that’s so inconsistent.
  5. When she’s soo fine but shrubs in person.
  6. When you take her for coffee or tea and she makes that tea sipping sound ‘shrrruu’
  7. When you take her for coffee and she takes you for granted.
  8. If she thinks doggy style is nasty and is for hoe only.
  9. If she thinks movies and series are boring…it’s a deal breaker
  10. If she’s into Naija or Afro movies.
  11. If she finds hip hop offensive and boring.
  12. If she thinks watching cartoons and animations is childish or boring…I’m gone.

‘Nimrod Taabu, what an emotional day it has been,’ NTV anchor Jane Ngoiri cries


Other Kenyans chip in with their deal breakers. Read and weep.

peacheseggplants: Ka hawezi incorporate ugali ya Jana na ya Leo, who do you think I am Bill Gates?!

_nutri_yogi: Doesn’t put on a vest or puts on sock shoe sock shoe instead of both socks then shoes😂

iamkeheart: Bad breathe just stay a kilometer away from befriending me 😂😂😂 same applies to Smelly feet 👣.

_c.h.o.m.b.a: If she can’t respect the left and right of the earphones!!I just kenot!

the_fancy_wendy: Having grammatical errors when texting. Why did you learn English if you aren’t gonna use it correctly?

angawitsss: If he puts his elbow on my shoulder all the time.. Wtf… Im not an armchair🙄🙄

zenah_ombogo: Kutoboa package ya sukari ama chumvi upside down. It pisses me off.

Diamond claims Davido slid into his DM to beg the star to perform with him in Dar es Salaam

iam_eveline_: Mtu anakula ugali na kijiko eeey

_mbugua_g: If she makes that pssst psssst sound after kukula nyama

alisha_sneaker: If he mixes up his food na nimeweka kando kando🙄alafu ascoop avocado yote aimix

leah_shee: If he moves his furniture to another angle without consulting me bye boy!

rayan_rop: ujinga ya ku squeeze colgate katikati sipendi, suppose aanze na chini.

venessalivy: Also, when his ass is bigger than mine🤷🏾‍♀️ exchoose me only one person is entitled to a bright future behind and I already more.

nancymikia: Mispronouncing my name

miss_handan: If he has long nails I kenttt

tatietatiana: 😂😂If he says “mazuri” “niambie” “hi dia” “hae” “sema mrembo”.

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