A couple holding hands
Image: Photo by Valentin Antonucci

The world is filled with different and challenging individuals, and dealing with a narcissist can be particularly challenging.

Many of you have likely encountered a narcissist, be it in a romantic relationship, friendship, or even within your family.

But who is a narcissist? It's someone with a disorder characterized by an unreasonably high sense of importance and a need for excessive admiration.

A man arguing with his partner
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Despite being deeply insecure, they present themselves as incredibly confident. In relationships, their main objective is to counteract their insecurity through gaslighting, control, and manipulation of others.

Partners of narcissists often find themselves caught between love and pain, contemplating whether to stay or leave but struggling to do either. Here are six phrases commonly used by narcissists:


  1. "I don't want to make this about me, but..." - This statement reveals that the narcissist is taking over the conversation. It serves as a pseudo-disclaimer, granting them permission to focus solely on themselves, making two-way communication difficult.

  2. "I don't have time for this; I'm a busy person..." - This phrase emerges when you attempt to discuss a topic or invite them to an event. Their entitlement, lack of empathy, and inability to maintain reciprocal relationships become evident as they rarely make time for you unless they need something.

  3. "I'm sorry you feel that way." - Narcissists struggle to admit fault, and this phrase serves as a deflection, implying that your feelings are solely your issue. They avoid taking responsibility for their behavior.

  4. "Why are you doing this to me?" - Narcissists possess the ability to shift from being the offender to playing the victim. For instance, if you're going through a tough time, they make you feel like you're inconveniencing them, causing you to question if you are genuinely at fault.

  5. "It's not fair." - Narcissists believe there should be a separate set of rules for them, distinct from everyone else. They consider themselves special and expect special treatment.

  6. "I hope you know who you're messing with..." - Similar to the threat, "If you ever do me wrong, I'll make your life a living hell," this phrase is a tactic used by narcissists to create an illusion of power and instill fear. Many people comply with their demands due to the perceived threat. If you've heard such phrases, you were likely being manipulated and gaslighted.