Ever heard of the saying you can school but you can't buy class? No? Then I would suggest you familiarize yourself with some Jay Z.

What that statement simply means is that having money doesn't mean you will have discerning taste. Think of all the landlords you have ever met -aye, even your own. What do they all have in common besides a big belly? That's right, they can't dress worth a damn.

And no gospel artiste epitomises this quite like Ringtone. I was scouring the internet looking for a story to tell when I inadvertently came across one of his many posts and it hit me, Ringtone actually has the fashion sense of a codfish.

Rather than make this a hit piece, let me try and proactively critique some of the more jarring fashion faux pas he has made in the past and give some constructive feedback:

The biggest criticism that would plague Ringtone is poor pairing choices.

The peacoat on its own is a great coat. In that combination, it gives you the sense that he got dressed in the dark.

And why is he rocking athleisure with said coat or even with the shoes he has on? Fam, great articles of clothing individually but the pairing? Suspect.

That cardigan. It deserves a paragraph on its own. The sweater is hideous. It's one of those purchases that looked good on the rack but didn't translate so well. To call the sweater busy is to call it a sound purchase decision. I would wager no one on this earth would be able to wear this cardigan and make it look good.

It deserves to be retired to the darkest, dampest recesses of the closet. Let it do some good by feeding some starving moths over in Runda.

Mismatched patterns. First off, I have a personal distaste for these striped trousers. I believe they started off as tuxedo pants but become mainstream urban dress choice for all of a minute. To me, it exemplifies why people shouldnae blindly copy what they see on American music videos.

Then why on earth did Ringtone pair this pair of pants (see what I did there?) with that godawful cardigan? Strips don't have to be put on in tandem because they are strips. Not every Luhya called Wafula Thundercock know each other.

This frock... Good lord Ringtone loves this frock. Do you know how self-help gurus spew nonsense about dressing for the job you want and not the job you have? I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with religious garb. And how Ringtone loves this particular clothing! Just how much you ask? Well, he likes it enough to get it in different colours -even more hideous than this.


But the worst fashion mistake Ringtone makes is consistently not being consistent. There are days when he is rather well dressed. He keeps it simple and you know the connection between perfection and simplicity aye? And the very next day he puts on the trash bag and expects it to pass off as fashion: