IEBC Declares Uhuru Kenyatta The Winner Of The 2017 General Election

The IEBC has declared Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta the winner of the 2017 presidential general election.

The announcement by IEBC Chairman Wafula Chebukati was made at the Bomas of Kenya, the official tallying centre shortly after 10PM.

Uhuru Kenyatta on a Jubilee party ticket  garnered 8,203,290Million votes against his closest challenger Raila Odinga of NASA who managed to get 6,762,224Million of the total votes cast.

#Kibandabae! These Confession By KOT about Kibandabae Will Leave you With More Questions Than answers

From Githeriman to Kibandabae the internet is alive with all manner of memes and confessions.

I guess everyone is exhausted from all the election drama, and anything to get the stress out is welcome.

Well #Kibandabae is trending and everyone wants to know why. It turns out that a Kenyan lass tweeted a picture chilling in the office, captioning it that she is in the kibanda. Well KOT was watching and they went in on her.

It also turns out that there is a big story behind her. Now every team mafisi seems to have some ‘experience’ with her and the confessions are out of this world. The boy child, wooi!!!Black Shuga 🍑🍯‏ @JoySolita… If you’re a male Kenyan tweep that’s unduped/unconned by #Kibandabae inua mkono ukiimba kidole, ni kidole. Kwani kila ndume ni victim ala

Gvlden‏ @NikkiNairobian….Lol.My bf told me the same thing way back,they dated for 1 mnth.Him they ended up in Ruaka police station..I thought he was the only one.

Marvin Chege‏ @marvin_chege11 ….This is what happens when Uhuru has 8 million votes nationwide, strong  #KibandaBae

Vela Kuti‏ @Neshavelli…. Lakini madem huishi hapo nyuma ya TRM huwa wameambukizwa ukora na hao Nigerians..#KibandaBae ni kionjo

Hakosuka‏ @Likeswhisky …#Kibandabae is a gangsta chick like Nancy Botwin.

Shosho Light‏ @carolinespencer… #KibandaBae ameenda kutafuta next victim

Ma’Kunta‏ @julleberry …Pls ambia #kibandabae that my equity account has been idle. Siogopi kulala jela. Handling fee is a mere 5%

EM.‏ @Erick_Mocha…That kibanda selfie chic issa fraud..story for another day

Chris Leo Ngaruthi‏ @Ngaruthi… But isn’t … poor people, where is that ridiculous dude for Maendeleo ya wanaumme? Dude be laundering seventeen thousand for #KibandaBae

Lewízzy‏ @Lewi_smallz…Nikupigie kura alafu nikupigie watu???? Noo ata wewe jaribu ujipigie kitu. Ni kujipanga my friend #Githeriman #KenyaDecides #kibandabae

Muthoni Maingi‏ @NonieMG… Are all the victims awake? If you know one please wake them up and issue them their confession queue number #KibandaBae

KENYA DECIDES: Twitter Drools Over Hunky Langata MP Elect Nixon Korir

Results from various polling stations indicating who has won are streaming in. What has caught the attention of many voters is that the newly elected leaders are young, there are more women elected and it is so amazing.

Well one MP elect is trending all for his good looks. The Langata MP elect is Nixon Korir who won on a Jubilee ticket. But that’s besides the point. What is interesting is that girls are really losing it over his good looks.

Nixon Korir refers to himself as Generali, and it will be interesting to see how he works for the people of his constituency.

Anyway here are photos of the sexy MP, poleni mafisilets he is married. Check them out and you’re welcome. Also check out tweets from twitter hunnies thirsting after him.

nixon korir 2

 

nixon korir and a fan

nixon korir langata mp elect

nixon korir

nixon korir with his wife campagning

nixon korir ontop of a car campaigning

nixon korir campaigning

nixon korir wife

nixon koriri voting

 

 

 

The Githeriman Is Trending And The Memes Are Ribcracking

On Tuesday as we all lied up to vote, a man holding a plastic bag with githeri caught our attention. His picture has been trending since and now we are doing what we do best…creating memes of the guy. The githeri man has been photoshopped in every imaginable situation.

The hashtag is even trending online and if you haven’t seen it, don’t worry I have you covered. Check them out below, and do have a peaceful day won’t you?

githeriman 25     githeriman 24

githeriman 22    githeriman 21

githeriman 18

githeriman 17

githeriman 15

githeriman 12

githeriman 11

githeriman 10

githeriman 8

githeriman 7

githeriman 6

githeriman 5

githeriman 4

githeriman 3

githeriman 2

githeriman9

githeriman16

githeriman1

githeriman23

githeriman14

Here are all the trending images at various polling stations this election day

Have you seen these funny images trending on social media from the various polling stations that have gone viral?

Kenyans are sharing these images from a man using an oxygen mask in the queue to a man eating githeri, go through these hilarious and heart-warming images. Happy voting day.

maneatinggitheri

funnykenyanvoters

manhelpselderlywomantovote

mancarriesbabaytovote

funny voting image

first lady margaret lines up

man on donkey votes

man with oxygen voting

man on donkey

Madoido Pelekeni Mbali Priss! Here Are The Things Not To Wear Tomorrow During The Election

The D-day is here. We are remaining with less than 12 hours to choose leaders to govern our nation for the next 5 years.

Are you ready to vote?

Well, to the slay queens and wannabes it’s time to ditch those smelly wigs and embrace your natural self.

From crop tops to high heels, here are the things you shouldn’t wear to tomorrow’s election.

To save you time, here is a tried and proven starter pack for slay queens on election day.

  1. Crop Tops 

Hoeny, this is not a Barbecue Live event where you wear crop tops leaving your bellies popping like jelly given to patients in hospital. It’s time to ditch them. This is where you might meet your mother-in-law, father-in-law or even your future bae. Please, let’s dress decently.

Crop Tops

2. High heels

This is not a fashion show event. It’s a serious event in the history of Kenya. A lot can happen and you need to be ready for anything. Dress in flat shoes if possible akala/avunja so that so can you can be able to run in case of anything.

Also you will be queueing for a long period, you cannot comfortably do that in heels, now, can you?

Heels crazy

3. Miniskirts

This is not a beauty contest event where Team Mafisi are going to salivate at your luscious and sexy thighs and give you credit.  Hii sio My Dress My Choice campaign! Dress like a well brought up woman. Also, after voting please go home straight. This is not the best time to idle around polling stations and look for sponsors. ‘..woiye nibuyie lunch, nipige picha..”

4. Make up

Did the head of IEBC announce that polling elections are going to be fashion show events? No one wants to see you with makeup. Team Mafisi will not even recognize you! Just apply Aramis and go to your polling station. Voting won’t take long, just a few minutes and you’re gone. No one wants to see your make up get washed away by the rains or the sweat from the burning sun. Save yourself the embarrassment.

5. Political branded merchandise

You had five years to rock those free t-shirts, wrist bands, caps and even underwear you were gifted at campaign rallies. But on election day, don’t wear them. No one is allowed to wear a political branded merchandise because this can trigger violence at polling stations. Please adhere to this.

Wavinya Ndeti

 

Voters are also expected to remain silent at polling stations and exercise their rights in peace. Do not ask people about their opinion on who they are voting for.

Kura Yako Siri Yako!

Smoking is also prohibited because you will be at a public venue. Please don’t make other voters uncomfortable. Have some manners.

HAPPY VOTING DAY!