Bungoma's self-proclaimed Jesus, Eliud Wekesa has revealed that the main reason why he doesn't have the crucifixion marks on the palm of his hands is that he has had several bodies over the years.
Apparently, this new one didn't come with nail marks. I think it is about time we just pack up and sell this country.
"When you enter God's work you don't question things... I have come into this world several times since over 2 thousand years ago.
You know I've entered this world with different bodies, so now I've been given a different body..." Eliud candidly revealed.
Anyone else thinking, "shukisha tafadhali?" Personally the trending audio, "Watu si wajinga bana" is the only thing playing in my head.
Speaking during an interview with Violet Taluma Eliud, Eliud maintained that he was Jesus and didn't fear being crucified because that time frame of being crucified according to God has already passed.
In his own words, "Radi haiwezi ikapiga mti mara mbili... (a tree cannot be struck by lightning twice)"
The Tongaren "Jesus" went on to add, "You see the ones talking about these stories of crucifying me, Mzee (referring to his alleged dad "God") aliniambia leo usiku wanaenda kutokezewa na maono leo usiku wakilala."
(They are going to have nightmares about crucifying me and these dreams will torment them. It will pain them thinking about why they crucified me even if they haven't yet)
Eliud finished off by highlighting that he'd however talk to God about forgiving these sinners and changing their hearts.
The interviewer was still quizzical about the guy and went ahead to question if he really believed he was the Jesus from the Bible.
"So you want to tell me that you are the Jesus that we read from the Bible? The very Messiah?" Asked Violet.
To which Eliud firmly replied that indeed he was Mary's son conceived by the Holy Spirit.
"I am the one! I am the said Biblical Jesus..." replied Eliud.
Whether he could perform miracles and heal people just like the guy from Bethlehem, Eliud eluded the question but wittily pointed out that if he wasn't biblical Jesus, he wouldn't have followers as he does.
"When you enter here what do you see? When you find people gathered here it is because there is something that has brought them here.
There are people seeking salvation, a change in lifestyle, others healing and so much more. All the people here are the work of God," maintained the man from Tongaren.
3 days ago it was revealed that a section of his village people were planning on crucifying him the same way Jesus was crucified thousands of years ago.
Witty Kenyans online joined in, calling for the self-proclaimed Jesus to live Christ's life to the end, endorsing his crucifixion since Eliud maintains he is the Christian Messiah.
After all, on the 3rd day after his death, Christ did rise from the dead as the Passion of Christ would culminate in his crucifixion, death, resurrection, and ascension to heaven.
Following all this, residents of Bungoma maintained that Eliud should have a turn at the cross since christening himself Jesus comes with repercussions.