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American actor and TV host Nick Canon has taken to his socials to mourn his late son who passed away last year.
Nick and actress Alyssa Scott lost their first child together Zen Scott Cannon at only 5 months. The little boy lost a fight to brain cancer.
Posting photos of him holding the late boy before he passed as well as a few photos of Zen on his own, he revealed how hard the loss of his son has been on him highlighting that no matter how hard he struggles to appear okay physically he was mentally broken.
"Physically I’m definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I’m broken.
Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn’t sleep at all.
I can’t believe it’s been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred. Such a painful anniversary," said the "Berserk' actor.
Nick went on to add that he still battles with guilt and immense sorrow, especially over the fact that his little boy never got to fully experience his fathers love.
"Losing a child has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experiences that I will never get over.
A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily. I am far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many question, but anyone who knows me knows my heart.
I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could’ve felt more of that love while he was here on Earth." Part of Nick's long post read.
He finished off by adding:
"One of my Spiritual Leaders recently told me that I am in the midst of one of the most challenging seasons of my life, but encouraged me to be steadfast and know that all of this will only make me stronger, and to not lean on my own understanding but to rely on the the peace that surpasses all.
Image: Courtesy
Image: Courtesy
But let me tell you, it’s tough… I know a few days ago I wrote a post from my hospital bed saying I will be okay and I just needed rest so don’t waste your prayers on me but I can definitely use those prayers right now… 💔
Continue to Peacefully Rest My Son, Zen Scott Cannon. We Love you Eternally ❤️🩹🙏🏾"
Following the birth of his late son, Zen the comedian announced that he would be taking a break from having kids.
"My therapist says I should be celibate," the former America's got talent host revealed.
However, Nick did not seem to take the advise of his therapist.
Four months later Nick was seen throwing a gender reveal party for his eighth child with his current girlfriend, Bre. He went on to have 4 more kids (another one with Alyssa as well) making his total number of off springs 11 with 6 baby mama's.
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Image: Courtesy
